Often posts at the beginning of the year focus on goal setting and vision statements. I decided to focus on grief and loss as it hit our family right before the holidays. As our family navigates, I felt the loss of my clients and community members more deeply as I came alongside. Some of us experience a lengthy period of anticipatory grief while others are thrown suddenly and without warning into a spiral of emotion that can feel unsurmountable.
Grief and loss can feel overwhelming, disorienting, and deeply personal. There’s no “right” way to grieve—but there are ways to move through it with care and support. Here are grounded, compassionate approaches that many people find helpful:
Stay connected (even when you want to withdraw)
Grief can make you want to pull away, but gentle connection helps regulate pain.
Share your experience with someone safe—even briefly.
Let others help in practical ways (meals, errands, sitting with you).
If talking feels hard, being quietly present with someone still counts.
Allow grief to be what it is
Grief isn’t linear. You may feel sadness, anger, numbness, relief, guilt, or even moments of joy—sometimes all in the same day. None of these are wrong.
Try to notice your feelings without judging them.
Remind yourself: “This is a human response to loss.”
Give yourself permission to feel and rest
Loss is exhausting—emotionally and physically.
Lower expectations where you can.
Rest, sleep, and nourish your body even if your appetite or energy feels off.
Cry if you need to. If tears don’t come, that’s okay too.
Expect grief to change, not disappear
Over time, grief often becomes less sharp—but it may still show up around anniversaries, milestones, or unexpectedly. This doesn’t mean you’re “going backward.”It means the bond and the loss still matter.
Create ways to honour what was lost
Rituals can help your nervous system integrate loss.
Write a letter to the person or thing you lost.
Light a candle, visit a meaningful place, or create something in their memory.
Speak their name or story when you’re ready.
Be gentle with your thoughts
Grief often brings harsh inner narratives (“I should be over this,” “I should’ve done more”).
Notice self-blame or “shoulds” and gently counter them with compassion. Ask: “What would I say to a friend in this moment?”
Seek support if grief feels unbearable or stuck. Professional support can be deeply helpful, especially if you notice:
Persistent numbness or despair
Difficulty functioning months later
Trauma symptoms (intrusive images, panic, dissociation)
Grief-informed therapy, somatic approaches, EMDR, or grief groups can help you process both emotional and body-based pain.
Hold space for meaning—when and if it comes
You don’t need to “find a lesson” in loss. But over time, some people discover:
A deepened sense of compassion
A clearer sense of what matters
New ways of carrying love forward
This happens slowly and cannot be forced.
Lastly, I would like to recommend the book, “Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss” by Lisa Keefauver. Through this book and her hit podcast of the same title, she creates a safe place to be inside the messiness of it all, to discover the full spectrum of grief, and to find the tools that help grievers move forward, not on. Grief is a Sneaky Bitch is a comprehensive guide-both a manual full of insights and skills and, even more importantly, a thoughtful companion that helps readers feel seen and held.
Also this Ted Talk by Nora McInerny resonated with millions. She shares her hard-earned wisdom about life and death. Her candid approach to something that will, let’s face it, affect us all, is as liberating as it is gut-wrenching. Most powerfully, she encourages us to shift how we approach grief. “A grieving person is going to laugh again and smile again,” she says. “They’re going to move forward. But that doesn’t mean that they’ve moved on.”
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