I choose joy. Joyful aging for me includes love, family, healthy living, connection, celebration, adventures, and more! “Aging gracefully” entails walking a tightrope between a youth-obsessed society, which tells us that our value declines as we age, and a culture that says nothing is as uncool as desperation, the fervent desire for something we can’t have. Marketers stoke our desire for youthfulness as the ticket to remaining relevant, then shame us when our efforts to preserve that youth go awry.” How would you like your present day, next year, three, five, ten, twenty years and beyond- look and feel? I choose joy.
Dr. Gabor Mate writes and lectures on expanding our understanding of mental illness and addictions. He states, “physical and mental illness are not aberrations but natural outcomes of a way of life inimical to genuine human needs. Treatment, therefore, must go beyond a focus on symptoms and diagnoses to address the causes of dysfunction from a bio-psycho-social perspective.” When I sit with a client who is struggling with anxiety and depression, I seek to understand all the facets of their past and daily life. We are not engines that need a simple tweak and we are ready to run at full capacity. We are complex individuals that require a holistic check up of all the areas of our life. Biology and Physical health – nutrition, sleep, vitamins, exercise, time in nature, massage, yoga, meditation, diagnosis and medication if needed. Psychological – identity, sense of self, purpose, learning, passion, joy. Social – love, connection, belonging (the antidotes to loneliness). If you are seeking this approach, please connect with me.
If you are nervous about making the plunge into a major and exciting life change — whether professional or personal — or simply putting it off out of fear of the unknown, making yourself answer these seven questions can be your antidote. Write down your answers, and keep in mind that thinking a lot may not prove as fruitful or as prolific as simply brain-vomiting on the page.
1. Define your nightmare, the absolute worst that could happen if you did what you are considering.
What doubt, fears and “what-ifs” pop up as you consider the big changes you can — or need to — make? Envision them in painstaking detail. Would it be the end of your life? What would be the permanent impact, if any, on a scale of 1 to 10? Are these things really permanent? How likely do you think it is that they would actually happen?
2. What steps could you take to repair the damage or get things back on the upswing, even if temporarily?
Chances are, it’s easier than you imagine. How could you get things back under control?
3. What are the outcomes or benefits, both temporary and permanent, of more probable scenarios?
Now that you’ve defined the nightmare, what are the more probable or definite positive outcomes, whether internal (confidence, self-esteem, etc.) or external? What would the impact of these more-likely outcomes be on a scale of 1 to 10? How likely is it that you could produce at least a moderately good outcome? Have other people done this before and pulled it off?
4. If you were fired from your job today, what would you do to get things under financial control?
Imagine this scenario and run through questions 1 to 3 above. If you quit your job to test other options, how could you later get back on the same career track if you absolutely had to?
5. What are you putting off out of fear?
Usually, what we most fear doing is what we most need to do. That phone call, that conversation, whatever the action might be — it is fear of unknown outcomes that prevents us from doing what we need to do. Define the worst case, accept it and do it. I’ll repeat something you might consider tattooing on your forehead: What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do. As I have heard said, a person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.
6. What is it costing you — financially, emotionally, and physically — to postpone action? Don’t only evaluate the potential downside of action.
It is equally important to measure the atrocious cost of inaction. If you don’t pursue those things that excite you, where will you be in 1 year, 5 years and 10 years? How will you feel having allowed circumstance to impose itself upon you and having allowed 10 more years of your finite life to pass doing what you know will not fulfill you? If you telescope out 10 years and know with 100 percent certainty that it is a path of disappointment and regret, and if we define risk as “the likelihood of an irreversible negative outcome,” inaction is the greatest risk of all.
7. What are you waiting for?
If you cannot answer this without resorting to the BS answer of “good timing,” the answer is simple: You’re afraid, just like the rest of the world. Measure the cost of inaction, realize the unlikelihood and repairability of most missteps, and develop the most important habit of those who excel and enjoy doing so: action.
Excerpted from Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers by Tim Ferriss. Copyright © 2017 by Tim Ferriss. Used by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.
Oh lazy days of summer how I adore you! But my goodness it is time to pay attention to this blog. For me, for you… As the numbers of vaccinated people in our families and social circles increase, we are finally able to embrace loved ones we haven’t connected with for 18 months or more and venture into safe social gatherings. Hello! This is great right?! It does seem we have more to navigate yet. There are still many questions about health and safety, regulations, mask/no mask and a wide range of readiness amongst our friends and family. As we move forward together, let’s honour where we are at as individuals. I know people who are refusing to be vaccinated – do I agree? No, but I accept their choice. Be gentle with yourself and others as we continue to determine what makes sense for our own comfort and wellbeing.
I meet with clients who have not had work or a social life for more than a year. Taking steps forward to engage with life and others again is mindful work and different for each individual. One thing we do know for sure is moving forward is the only answer. Change is inevitable. Many people are reconsidering HOW they wish to live post pandemic. This may look like a change in career, location, social connections, or values in answering the question, “What is truly important to me and how do I want to live my life?” I hope you enjoy the article below.
Sleep and rest are not the same thing. In our society that places great value on individual production and achievement, the importance of sleep is frequently minimized. Science now supports the restorative value of a good nights sleep to fortify our physical and mental health, but we are also suffering from a rest deficit. Rest should equal restoration in these seven key areas of your life.
- Physical rest includes passive acts such as sleeping and napping but also active physical rest such as yoga, stretching, and massage therapy.
- Mental rest can be supported by scheduling short breaks throughout your workday and give yourself permission to slow down.
- Sensory rest is a helpful break from lights, noise, computer screens, and conversation. Close your eyes for a mindful minute and unplug from electronics.
- Creative rest allows you to connect to the wonders of life through nature and the arts. Get outside, listen to music, engage in a hobby.
- Emotional rest gives you the opportunity to acknowledge your personal needs and feelings which can reduce ‘people pleasing.’
- Social rest encourages us to engage with those relationships that energize rather than drain us. Surround yourself with supportive individuals.
- Spiritual rest allows us to connect to love, acceptance, and purpose through prayer, meditation, and community connection.