Author: oceansidecounsellingservices

Yes it’s an attention grabbing headline. The term has definitely tweaked my curiosity, so let’s consider how conscious decision making around alcohol use connects to a more mindful way of living. As we move forward into 2024, many individuals are considering new year/new me changes through exercise, diet, lifestyle practices, and achieving personal goals. Dry January has been a trend over the years but for some people, a sustainable lifestyle shift may include exploring more deeply their relationship with alcohol. 

 “Sober curious” refers to an intentional curiosity about your alcohol consumption. It doesn’t necessarily require you to be teetotaler, but it does encourage reducing your intake.  Statistics showed that during the pandemic, alcohol use skyrocketed for many as social connections decreased and time at home increased. However, there has been a dramatic surge in alcohol free options in liquor stores as well as restaurant menus. The demand is real as product is always created to meet a consumer need. What is driving this need? The latest research tells us that alcohol is a toxin in the body that impacts the brain, emotions, metabolism, and sleep. After the short term dopamine surge, the physical and emotional crash often results in increased anxiety and low mood accompanied by a hangover. This article offers a woman’s personal reflection on the pursuit of a sober life. If this is something you are considering, here are a few considerations that may help you make more mindful decisions about drinking alcohol:

Think about how you’ll feel the next morning after drinking, compared to how you’ll feel if you stay sober.
Start your social event with a tasty non-alcoholic drink. If you still want alcohol after that, go for it — thoughtfully.
Reflect on the factors making you want to drink, such as social pressure, stress, or anxiety. Consider ways to address these issues more consciously, whether through self-soothing strategies or seeking professional help to work through them.

If you could envision your relationship as your emotional home, you may be more open to the idea that your relationship requires regular attention and maintenance. These efforts include daily, weekly, monthly, and annual maintenance which may include clearing, repair, and additional efforts in order for your home (be it physical or emotional) to feel safe and functional while also offering warmth, comfort, connection, happiness, love, joy, etc.. Both a leak in the plumbing as well as a break in emotional connection require intentional work to repair the damage. In our culture of quick fixes we often look for a short term solution to a long term problem. If the sink is leaking, that can usually be addressed with brief tools and solutions. However, if the roof hasn’t been repaired in many years and a critical leak/flooding has occurred it is going to take more extensive work and time. There is going to be a commitment of resources. Do you see the correlation? When a couple is ready for the commitment to repair short or long term relationship damage, there needs to be the same time and energy to prioritize the repair of the emotional home.

A therapist can support this relational repair. A supportive environment to help navigate the tough conversations can create a safer ‘worksite’ for all involved. I encourage you to read this article, if it resonates, please reach out. I am here to help.

Many of us will experience some kind of trauma during our lifetime. Sometimes, we escape with no long-term effects. But for many people, those experiences linger, causing symptoms like flashbacks, nightmares, and negative thoughts that interfere with everyday life. Joelle Rabow Maletis details the science behind post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. PTSD has been called “the hidden wound” because it comes without outward physical signs. But even if it’s an invisible disorder, it doesn’t have to be a silent one. There are options. If you think you might be suffering from PTSD, the first step is an evaluation with a mental health professional who can direct you towards the many resources available. Psychotherapy can be very effective for PTSD, helping individuals better understand their triggers. And certain medications can make symptoms more manageable, as can self- care practices, like mindfulness and regular exercise. Reach out and connect to your clinician who can support you in considering various modalities including somatic work. Collaboratively you can create a treatment plan that is right for you.

Re: Building Families

A New Program for Spouses/Partners of First Responders

The Family First Responder (FFR) research study is very excited to invite family members of our police, fire, and paramedic services in BC, AB, SK, and ON to join the feasibility study of our first program! Building on the research we have done in the past two years with police, fire, and paramedic members and their spouses/partners, we are calling our first FFR program Re: Building Families. This title is a direct salute to the strength, identity, and character of first responders and their families, but also a recognition that some parts of the family are vulnerable to the operational stressors and traumas that enter the home through the vital work of first responders. Our program will address the impact of operational stressors on relationships, identity, and values that are critical to building a strong and healthy family.

We are pleased to offer two ways that spouses/partners of police, fire, and paramedic members can participate in the Re: Building Families program:

1. Virtual Group Participation: Starting the week of January 30, 2023, spouses/partners can join a 6-week virtual program (90 mins/week) with up to 10 other spouses/partners. Licensed psychologists will lead participants in learning about and discussing the strengths and risks of living in a first responder family. Times and days for the groups will be announced in early January.
2. Self-Directed Participation: Starting in February 2023, spouses/partners of first responders can participate in a 6-week self-directed study of the learning material as presented in the above virtual groups, but without the weekly peer interaction and guided learning experience.

All participants will be asked to complete pre, post, and 3-month follow-up questionnaires, and in doing so will receive gift cards. We are also excited to offer – for both spouses/partners and their police, fire, or paramedic member – the opportunity to provide biophysiological data during the study via Garmin wearables. This will allow us to gather data on sleep, activity, heart rate, and stress variables via an app that is synced to the Garmin.

So . . . if you are a spouse/partner of a police, fire, or paramedic member living in BC, AB, SK, or ON and would like to receive a screening form to determine your eligibility to participate in one of our programs, please send us your name and e-mail address below. We would love for you to participate in the Re: Building Families program, and we hope that the results of our study will help to build stronger families and stronger first responders for years to come! More information for registration.

Anxiety is the predominant concern presented by children and adolescents today. In my practice, I meet with children as young as 5 who are beginning to profile with frequent worries that impact their daily functioning. I also meet with adults who have gone undiagnosed and are ready to seek help as the level of overwhelm they experience on a daily level is impacting their employment, physical health, and relationships. Early intervention is key and when we are working with children it is so important to take the temperature of the family by assessing the overall level of stress and worry within the household. Next steps, are exploring individual patterns and coping strategies through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. This process can also involve a gradual exposure to experiences that the child has previously avoided or been protected from experiencing. The end goal is for the child to have greater confidence in their resilience to be able to navigate worry and stress when it presents itself through reframing, positive self-talk, and using emotional/physical regulation techniques.

“For young people, anxiety is the most common childhood psychiatric condition. These disorders start early, by age four, and by adolescence, one in 12 youths are severely impaired in their ability to function at home, in school and with peers. These kids are so frightened, worried, literally physically uncomfortable due to their anxiety. It’s difficult for them to pay attention in school, relax and have fun, make friends and do all the things that kids should be doing. Anxiety can create misery for the child, and the parents are front and center in witnessing their child’s distress.” (Alabano, 2020) Here is a book recommendation: “You and your Anxious Child: Free your Child from Fears and Worries and Create a Joyful Family Life.” (Anne Marie Albano and Leslie Pepper)