If you could envision your relationship as your emotional home, you may be more open to the idea that your relationship requires regular attention and maintenance. These efforts include daily, weekly, monthly, and annual maintenance which may include clearing, repair, and additional efforts in order for your home (be it physical or emotional) to feel safe and functional while also offering warmth, comfort, connection, happiness, love, joy, etc.. Both a leak in the plumbing as well as a break in emotional connection require intentional work to repair the damage. In our culture of quick fixes we often look for a short term solution to a long term problem. If the sink is leaking, that can usually be addressed with brief tools and solutions. However, if the roof hasn’t been repaired in many years and a critical leak/flooding has occurred it is going to take more extensive work and time. There is going to be a commitment of resources. Do you see the correlation? When a couple is ready for the commitment to repair short or long term relationship damage, there needs to be the same time and energy to prioritize the repair of the emotional home.
A therapist can support this relational repair. A supportive environment to help navigate the tough conversations can create a safer ‘worksite’ for all involved. I encourage you to read this article, if it resonates, please reach out. I am here to help.
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